i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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