Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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