My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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