And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize