please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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