: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
