I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
