just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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