Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
