Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
