that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
