i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
