did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
