the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
