yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize