Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is this like a preordered booty call?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
