i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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