Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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