i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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