i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
