You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
