i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He uses pillows to masturbate.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
