I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
