it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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