Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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