He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
