Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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