my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
