Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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