Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
