I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
