I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
