My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
