who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
