You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
