I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
