Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's blow job season.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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