you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
