Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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