I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
