Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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