Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
