is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have so many feelings about this burrito
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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