May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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