he shaved USA in his pubs
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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