If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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