I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
