Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize