Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The uberlube is also flammable
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
