Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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