Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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