Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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