I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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