i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
