did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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