Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
