Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
