thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
